Land of the Leaf

Dave Feschuk has some interesting bits from Chris Bosh over at the Toronto Star today.  No, it has nothing to do with deadbeat dads or illegitimate children.

No surprise here as Bosh hints at his plans for 2010 when his contract expires.

“(When) I signed a three-year (extension in 2006)… I had a goal in mind, and that was to put myself in the best position (in 2010) … I’m thinking I just want to stick to my goal, stick to what I was doing…  That’s a part of the plan … I just want to address things (after) next season. There’s a reason why I did things the way I did them back then.”

Bryan Colangelo I assume is busy shopping Bosh to the highest bidder.  At least he fucking better be.

Dice-K?  Throws 96 pitches over five innings.  Johan?  Loses to the Pirates.  Lincecum?  Bullpen blows lead on a mediocre outing (for him) in Washington.  Peavy?  Leaves game after one shitty inning, team calls it viral respiratory illness (smokes cock).  Greinke?  Phew, doesn’t pitch tonight.

Roy Halladay stands alone.

Everyone is talking about it: the believer and hunter, ghosts and drunks, Boo Radley and Stieb… go see.

Burke Admits It:  Colie Campbell Fucks Guys

The only guys in hockey that have a more inane ability to make moronic decisions than the players on the ice are the ex-players running the teams.  No fucking headshot penalty? First of all, it’s absurd that the game has gotten to a point where hits to the head have become so prevalent and devastating that there even needs to be discussion of a rule change.  But wait, there’s some hilarity to all of this:  watching Bud Selig play a bumbling old man to save his own ass was humiliating for baseball and its fans, but listening to hockey-types deny that steroids are an issue in the game is going to look much more embarrassing.

Baseball players still use used steroids to hit a few more homers and recover from arm injuries.  Hockey players are killing each others’ brains with bodychecks and the league is standing by it while ignoring the bigger problem.

Although, Burke admits that most general managers feel that the threat of getting rammed up the poop-chute by Colin Campbell is enough punishment for headshots:

“There’s no appetite for a rule change on that,” Maple Leafs GM Brian Burke said after Tuesday’s meeting. “We all think the existing penalties make sense and then, when a guy crosses the line, Colie bangs him (with a suspension).

Get Your Sludge On:

Um, I’m going to be honest and say I had planned on skipping tonight’s Jays’ game altogether in favour of the Stanley Cup Finals.  Luckily, for me, Halladay’s dominance of the Angels’ lineup was apparent from the first pitch.  This is what multiple computers and a TV are for, nights like this.

Halladay did his best A.J. Burnett impression (although gave up only one walk instead of like seven) by striking out a career high 14 batters on the evening, including the side in the ninth.  Complete game, a few hits surrendered, earned runs and all, fuck it… Halladay is the best there is.  First to nine wins.   Jays 6 Angels 4

Has anyone seen Vernon Wells’ power or general ability lately?  No?  I didn’t think so.

Later this afternoon we’ll take a closer look at the upcoming Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim of Jesus Christ Latter Day Saints/Jays series.  You can expect us to probably drool a little over Roy Halladay and wear pants that fit a bit loose in the crotch area.

For now here’s a set of links to some good posts:

Brian Burke Goes Bananas On Watters Show

Oh man, this is too much.  There’s links to the audio piece at the end of the post, check it out.  Is the media getting to Burke, or is it the other way around?

Jaworski Says Trent Edwards Will Be Tremendous

And if that doesn’t quite work out there’s always the option of becoming a wrestler as Tremendous Trent Edwards.

Mock NBA Draft

Am I the only one who wants to see DeJuan Blair as a Raptor?

Alvin Williams A Raptor Again

Williams is joining the team as an assistant coach, show me Charles Oakley and I’ll start to believe.

Michael Bourn Nuts Himself

Bahahaha, ouch!  (bumps to Bugs and Cranks)

Chris Bosh said he had a big announcement to make.  I’m reluctantly assuming that this was the big announcement:  “Chris Bosh signs with Warner Music Canada”.

From Inside Hoops:

Chris Bosh, NBA All-Star and six-year veteran of the Toronto Raptors, has entered into an agreement with Warner Music Canada to produce a unique DVD and CD to be released in the fall of 2009. Chris Bosh is also thrilled to announce that he has become the first athlete in the world to launch his own application for iPhone and iPod touch on the Apple App Store.

The material on the as-yet-untitled DVD will be based on the original comedic characters Bosh has developed over the past two years in a series of hilarious video clips posted on the internet. The DVD program will also include a tour of Chris’ life in Dallas (giving fans an insider look at the path that brought him to NBA stardom).

Seeing that he signed with Warner Music Canada, does that mean he has plans to sign long-term in Toronto?

If you’re a complete fantasy baseball nerd (and I am), then it’s likely you’ve been caught by the Matt Wieters hype-machine.  There’s little argument that Wieters doesn’t warrant all of the attention he had leading up to his Major League debut, the kid is going to be a stud.

He looked alright in the Orioles’ weekend tilt with Detroit, but the best is yet to come.  Regardless of however many late night man-boners that Wieters can inspire among fanboys, Baltimore’s general manager Andy MacPhail will always be the biggest dick in the room.

From Bastian:

Earlier this week, Andy MacPhail, Baltimore’s president of baseball operations, cited Snider’s situation when asked if Wieters was expected to remain with the Orioles for the rest of the year.

“We think Wieters is ready,” MacPhail was quoted as saying in the Toronto Sun. “We don’t want to be like Toronto with Snider and return the player to the Minors.”

Oh you’d never want to be like Toronto.  Ahem, Gregg Zaun.  You’d never want to round out your pitching staff with a shitty left arm like Mark Hendrickson, oh no, not Andy MacPhail.

Nervousness has got me shaking like Parliament Street meth-whore on a dozen cups of Jet Fuel.  Friday night home games usually mean emphatic powdery blue victories.  Not this Friday though, this one is much, much different. It’s that goddamn knuckleball of Tim Wakefield, and those fucking Mass Holes.

Here’s me trying to be positive:

I want to think that this is the series that Vernon Wells uses to establish himself this season.  Surely a nine game road losing streak is enough to inspire Vernon to come to the plate with a plan and give us some of that 2003 shit.  Meaningful hits, that’s all Vernon.  We’re not asking for too much, but keep stealing bags.

Janssen gets the ball tonight, Scott Richmond goes to the pen.  I’m okay with that, I’ll tell you why.  Casey Janssen needs to start, but he could come out flaccid and we’ll need a serviceable arm ready for long relief.  That’s what Scott Richmond is, a serviceable arm.  He’s not a fucking superstar, but neither is Janssen.

See, I’m having trouble being positive.  I’m scared shitless.  Only the encouraging words of Scott Rolen can snap me out of this forced introversion of pessimism.

I’ve searched high and low for a battle song to head into this series with.  I give you the musical equivalent of a Wakefield knuckleball: Pavement covering Creedence Clearwater Revival.  Go Jays!

Pictured above is Rowdy Roddy Piper posing with Stormtrooper, I have no idea what that’s all about.  Below is Piper in his heyday as a “heel”.  He doesn’t like no grimy, greasy, burnt out little hippies that you can usually spot begging for loot on  Yonge St.  It does beg the question: how do they afford those big dogs?  (bumps to Hugging Harold Reynolds)

Personally, I’ve always preferred this amphetamine fueled rant with “Mean Gene” Okerlund.  Piper even manages to dumbfound himself when he alludes to taking his own dick away.

Roy Halladay can stop the bleeding, but he needs some support.

Vernon Wells needs to hit the ball today, and I’m not talking about off of his ankles or shins.

I still believe in Alex Rios, just not as much as I used to.

Left handed Rich Hill coudn’t hold down a job a year ago, the Jays are loaded with right handed power hitters.  They should crush him.

Losing is unacceptable today, eight in a row is enough.

TOR: Halladay (8-1, 2.52 ERA)

BAL: Hill (1-0, 3.18 ERA)

Game Time 1:35 PM ET

Peter Zezel passed away yesterday at the age of 44.  Zezel was always considered “one of their own” by Leaf fans despite only playing in Toronto for parts of four seasons.  Toronto born, or Scarborough raised, however you choose to put it, Zezel first made his mark in the OHL with the Toronto Marlboros in the early 1980’s.  The news of his passing hit hard in Toronto, our thoughts are with his family and friends.

Peter Zezel didn’t have his best offensive years in Toronto, but he played an integral part on two of the better Maple Leafs teams from the last 40 years.  He appeared in the 1986 film Youngblood, which is a much better hockey film than Slap Shot, and he continued to be active in the Toronto sports community over the last few years.  Several excellent stories and tributes from a number of bloggers have delineated some of Zezel’s memorable hockey moments and human side, here are some links to a few:

Remembering Peter Zezel [Down Goes Brown]

Peter Zezel [Bitter Leaf Fan Page]

Ode To Peter Zezel [Toronto Sports Media]