Land of the Leaf

If you’re a complete fantasy baseball nerd (and I am), then it’s likely you’ve been caught by the Matt Wieters hype-machine.  There’s little argument that Wieters doesn’t warrant all of the attention he had leading up to his Major League debut, the kid is going to be a stud.

He looked alright in the Orioles’ weekend tilt with Detroit, but the best is yet to come.  Regardless of however many late night man-boners that Wieters can inspire among fanboys, Baltimore’s general manager Andy MacPhail will always be the biggest dick in the room.

From Bastian:

Earlier this week, Andy MacPhail, Baltimore’s president of baseball operations, cited Snider’s situation when asked if Wieters was expected to remain with the Orioles for the rest of the year.

“We think Wieters is ready,” MacPhail was quoted as saying in the Toronto Sun. “We don’t want to be like Toronto with Snider and return the player to the Minors.”

Oh you’d never want to be like Toronto.  Ahem, Gregg Zaun.  You’d never want to round out your pitching staff with a shitty left arm like Mark Hendrickson, oh no, not Andy MacPhail.

Nervousness has got me shaking like Parliament Street meth-whore on a dozen cups of Jet Fuel.  Friday night home games usually mean emphatic powdery blue victories.  Not this Friday though, this one is much, much different. It’s that goddamn knuckleball of Tim Wakefield, and those fucking Mass Holes.

Here’s me trying to be positive:

I want to think that this is the series that Vernon Wells uses to establish himself this season.  Surely a nine game road losing streak is enough to inspire Vernon to come to the plate with a plan and give us some of that 2003 shit.  Meaningful hits, that’s all Vernon.  We’re not asking for too much, but keep stealing bags.

Janssen gets the ball tonight, Scott Richmond goes to the pen.  I’m okay with that, I’ll tell you why.  Casey Janssen needs to start, but he could come out flaccid and we’ll need a serviceable arm ready for long relief.  That’s what Scott Richmond is, a serviceable arm.  He’s not a fucking superstar, but neither is Janssen.

See, I’m having trouble being positive.  I’m scared shitless.  Only the encouraging words of Scott Rolen can snap me out of this forced introversion of pessimism.

I’ve searched high and low for a battle song to head into this series with.  I give you the musical equivalent of a Wakefield knuckleball: Pavement covering Creedence Clearwater Revival.  Go Jays!

Pictured above is Rowdy Roddy Piper posing with Stormtrooper, I have no idea what that’s all about.  Below is Piper in his heyday as a “heel”.  He doesn’t like no grimy, greasy, burnt out little hippies that you can usually spot begging for loot on  Yonge St.  It does beg the question: how do they afford those big dogs?  (bumps to Hugging Harold Reynolds)

Personally, I’ve always preferred this amphetamine fueled rant with “Mean Gene” Okerlund.  Piper even manages to dumbfound himself when he alludes to taking his own dick away.

Roy Halladay can stop the bleeding, but he needs some support.

Vernon Wells needs to hit the ball today, and I’m not talking about off of his ankles or shins.

I still believe in Alex Rios, just not as much as I used to.

Left handed Rich Hill coudn’t hold down a job a year ago, the Jays are loaded with right handed power hitters.  They should crush him.

Losing is unacceptable today, eight in a row is enough.

TOR: Halladay (8-1, 2.52 ERA)

BAL: Hill (1-0, 3.18 ERA)

Game Time 1:35 PM ET

Peter Zezel passed away yesterday at the age of 44.  Zezel was always considered “one of their own” by Leaf fans despite only playing in Toronto for parts of four seasons.  Toronto born, or Scarborough raised, however you choose to put it, Zezel first made his mark in the OHL with the Toronto Marlboros in the early 1980’s.  The news of his passing hit hard in Toronto, our thoughts are with his family and friends.

Peter Zezel didn’t have his best offensive years in Toronto, but he played an integral part on two of the better Maple Leafs teams from the last 40 years.  He appeared in the 1986 film Youngblood, which is a much better hockey film than Slap Shot, and he continued to be active in the Toronto sports community over the last few years.  Several excellent stories and tributes from a number of bloggers have delineated some of Zezel’s memorable hockey moments and human side, here are some links to a few:

Remembering Peter Zezel [Down Goes Brown]

Peter Zezel [Bitter Leaf Fan Page]

Ode To Peter Zezel [Toronto Sports Media]

We’re at a loss for words to describe how we feel about the Toronto Blue Jays’ current seven game slide.  After peering at Sports and the City we’re left with the sullen reminder that the Jays are no longer in first place.  They’re not even in second.  How about we just throw it up to our old buddy Clay Davis to describe our collective displeasure?

Never mind that Freddy Sanchez went 6-for-6 and nearly hit for the cycle in last night’s Pittsburgh Pirates and Chicago Cubs game, Mr. T was on hand to throw the first pitch, sing in the seventh, and wear a pair of Zubaz.

Taking liberty to post an Allan Bester tribute video.  Maybe the Tina Turner track is a little over the top.

Finally, someone took that mouth guard out of Patrick Kane’s lips!

Toronto FC midfielder Amada Guevara was named the MLS Player of the Week this afternoon.  Guevara tallied two markers in Saturday’s 3-1 TFC victory over New England.

Toronto FC currently sit tied for second in the Eastern standings with D.C. United.  They travel to Houston for a Saturday match versus the Dynamo.

“That’s Bird” Series Preview: Jays @ Orioles

I wish I could say this series would be a serious beat-down.  I’m not ruling out a Jays’ offensive feast on some of Bodymore’s wonky arms, but my eyes are going bleary from looking at the RBI totals of Rios, Wells, and Lind over the team’s last six losses. I just can’t seem to find anything.  Oh, wait, there aren’t any because they didn’t drive in any fucking runs.  (bump-knuckles to The Tao of Stieb for the written reminder)

Vernon Wells: “You may run like Hayes. but you hit like shit”.  You’re making me sick with your all of your chopping and hacking at the plate.  Now do something, those stolen bases are just expensive.

A six-game skid isn’t exactly the end of the world.  Thankfully, the optimism preservation officer The Blue Jay Hunter points out that when you throw in names like Frank Thomas and John Gibbons, you’ll remember that things have been much worse.

The Orioles hope that Jeremy Guthrie can get his game together in the series opener this afternoon.  Jays throw the mustache (Brian Tallet).

Hey, It’s Leaf Rumours and Rumblings

It seems a set of twins are causing an uprising at Toronto Sports Media.  I agree, dreams of the Sedins are better left out of the minds of Maple Leaf fans. The same could be said for Brian Burke’s hype-crush on John Tavares.  It’s dumb, not going to happen.

We’ve even got something on the rumour radar that makes sense; Mike fackin’ Komisarek!  He hits with the weight of a metric shit-ton, he’s still relatively young (27), and it would fuel the Habs-Leafs rivalry much more furiously than a couple of Belarusian princes dancing around than ice.  (bumps to Maple Leafs Hot Stove)

Burke acknowledges that the impending dip in the salary cap means that managers need to be prepared for the long-term.  [Puck Daddy]

Obligatory Bills News:

The Bills have a scary set of receivers.  They’re deep at wide receiver, like maybe the deepest in the NFL.  And they’ve got Terrell Owens, and yes you’re going to keep hearing about Terrell Owens.

Jays Battle Song For Bodymore, Murdaland

Not the Toronto Maple Leafs you fool.  It has been a sad four decades for those losers.  I’m talking Ryan Leaf!  He’s making headlines again, for all the wrong reasons obviously.  Leaf has apparently got himself into some serious trouble in Texas, and when it comes to punishment: Texas never whispers.

Leaf has been indicted on drug and burglary charges.

From Sports Rubbish:

According to Canyon police Lt. Dale Davis, Leaf is suspected of breaking into an apartment on October 30th & stealing some Hydrocodone. Perhaps he was just trick-or-treating early and the person didn’t have any candy.

Leaf has yet to turn himself in to police. James Farren, Randall County criminal district attorney, said Leaf is in drug rehab in British Columbia.

The counts Ryan Leaf faces include:

• 7 counts of obtaining a controlled substance by fraud
• 1 count of delivery of a simulated controlled substance
  
• 1 count of burglary of a habitation

The good people at Baseball Prospectus had a decent chat with Adam Lind.  Lind talked about his start to the season, approach at the plate, and a few other notables.  Worth checking out for sure.

Lind apparently was a big Andre Dawson fan growing up… schweet, me too.  Our beloved DH also enjoys cooking, who knew?