Land of the Leaf

I’ll be damned, Brad May has played 1000 games in the NHL.  Although I consider it cheating that the Leafs sat him for a game so he could be honoured in Buffalo, Brad May received a hero’s welcome by the Buffalo crowd even though he hasn’t played there since 1998.  May of course, is most remembered for his infamous “May Day!” goal to knock the Bruins out of the playoffs back in 1993.  It’s probably the calling of the goal by Sabres homer play-by-play man Rick Jeanneret that’s most memorable, regardless, a dubious achievement by May to reach the 1000 game mark.

Ok, here you go, one more time:

Curtis Joseph Ties All-Time Loss Record

First of all, I can’t believe the Maple Leafs would put Joseph in a position to match Gump Worsley’s record of 352 career losses with just a couple of games left to play.  Given that Joseph plans on playing until he’s 71-years old I guess it was just a matter of time anyway.  Perhaps the biggest distinction of holding a record like such is that a goaltender has to be pretty damn good to play enough games to lose 352 of them.  Cujo has had a pretty good career, highlighted by a few stellar playoff performances in the 90’s and early 2000’s.  We only need to look to Brad May to put Joseph’s achievement in perspective:

“It’s pretty neat,” May said. “It’s not neat that he’s got the most losses but think about how many games he’s played.

“You know what? Cecil Fielder hit the most home runs one year, if I’m not mistaken, and he had the most strikeouts, too.  Wayne Gretzky had the most giveaways one year and he had the most assists in the league. The bottom line is nothing ventured nothing gained. Curtis has been an incredible goaltender.”

Oh, the Maple Leafs lost to the Sabres 3-1, but my boy Jeff Finger scored the lone Leaf goal.  He’s got a pretty decent head of Scott Hartnell hair starting to peak out the back of his bucket too.

One for the late Gump:

Raptors Aiming For Fifth Straight

The road to five straight wins goes directly through Dwight Howard and the Orlando Magic.  Cuzzy isn’t April Foolsing on you, an upset of ‘magical’ proportions could be in the works tonight.  Okay, that was little much.  [Cuzoogle]

Mills Craps The Bed In Last Chance To Impress

The fight for the fifth and final spot in the Jays’ rotation is becoming a contest of shittyness.  Brad Mills got lit up by the Phillies in his final start of the spring.  He’ll probably still pitch for the Jays in the near future according to Cito.  Scott Richmond will have to step on the mound and pull down his pants and piss to lose the final spot on this staff.

Leaf Fans Divided On Brad May

Brad May isn’t going to command big money this offseason, but he could be a valuable leader and roll-player somewhere.  It’s up to his father Brian Burke to decide whether or not that will be with Toronto or not.  The fans are split down the middle on him.  [Pension Plan Puppets]

Who’s More Stab-Worthy, TSN2 or Rogers?

We’re now in month number eight in the TSN2 and Rogers’ standoff.  TSN can suck-it because they put half of their Raptors’ games on a channel that 14 people have, and Rogers can suck-it for refusing to man-up and offer TSN2.  [Zelkovich]

Chicks Dig The Stick

Anna Kournikova, Willa Ford, Hillary Duff, the older Tanner sister from Full House:  they all chase puck.  [FanIQ]

Self-Promotion

I hate country music, especially Wal-Mart country.  I took a shot at Carey Price’s stupid Garth Brooks goalie mask over at Hockeyhead.

Justin Pogge is built like a milk-bag.  Alert - he’s not the goalie of the future.  He’s unworthy of Potvin’s 29, he’s not even Jeff Reese.  He’s soft, marshmallow soft.  He’s a bag of holes.

Cue the pundits that will want Brian Burke to re-sign Alex Ponikarovsky.  I think he should go somewhere else to score 22 goals for the near $3,000,000 he will command on the open market.  Jason Blake can go pound sand too.

Don’t get me wrong, I love a good 1987esque 7-5 drubbing, but those are the games when you should win a few fights.  Watching a Milan Lucic beat the piss out of Phil Oreskovic like a coked-up lunatic was predictable, but 19 year-old Luke Schenn having to be the knuckle-chucker for a veteran team is just plain lousy.  Brian Burke pulled out the binoculars to see Schenn trade blows with Steve Montador, you have to wonder who he was watching.  Lucic would have pummeled Brad May.

Justin Pogge is a floppy, fat-assed, salt & vinegar chip eating piece of crap.

Martin Gerber lost his temper and got bounced for pushing the referee and shooting the puck at him.  This was after allowing the game tying goal to Brooks Laich with under a minute to go.  Enter the Joseph.  Old man did well, making 8 saves in overtime against the Capitals and then slamming the door closed on Alex Ovechkin in the shootout.

Heading into overtime there was an air of camaraderie around the Leafs’ bench, as Brad May was leading the charge joking with Curtis Joseph when he was entering the game like a relief pitcher.  The Leafs are now 31-30-13, and while they don’t stand a puncher’s chance at the playoffs, that record is a lot better than what many pundits expected it to be at this time.

Obligatory Ovechkin Notes:
Pierre “La Douche” Maguire claimed to have asked Ovie: “Are you going to score 3 tonight?”, or something like that from his post between the benches. He claimed that Ovechkin responded with: “No way, I’m going to score 4″. I guess we can believe him, but regardless, they’re both a bit douchey.  In related news, according to a source Maguire was spotted trying to enter both locker rooms stating that he is the coach of the Hartford Whalers and that he just wanted a word with Robert Petrovicky.  The same source told me that Vincent Lecavalier and Evgeni Malkin will both be Leafs next season.