Land of the Leaf

You can rest assured, Roy Halladay is just fine despite getting hit hard a couple of times.  He didn’t need to be dominant on Opening Night, Adam Lind and Travis “The Franchise” Snider led the Jays’ mashing attack neutering the Tigers 12-5.  Shove lousy weather down a flight of stairs, we’ve got a dome and a dynamite offense.

This year’s uniforms will feature a red Canadian maple leaf on the right shoulder.  It’s a nice gesture, but ultimately a marketing move.  Now, about the crest adorning the sleeve on the left shoulder.  A pompous “Ted” is emblazoned there for all to be reminded of the late tyrannical owner.  Uncle Ted, never one to be outdone as a showman, had his life celebrated on the Rogers Centre jumbotron following the 3rd inning.  To the tune of the opening bars of “Bittersweet Symphony” (oh how bittersweet it is) we were reminded of his accomplishments:

Entrepreneur

Philanthropist

Proud Canadian

Ted Rogers

1933-Not Soon Enough

I can’t believe some righteous jerks actually stood-up and clapped, have these people ever looked at their cable bills?

Justin Verlander started this season right where he left off last year; throwing pumpkins.  Nothing much has changed about Vernon Wells’ approach at the plate, he was hacking at everything but made good contact for a change.  The Tigers teed off on Halladay in the 7th inning for four runs.  Halladay finished the inning and retired to the dugout, face boiling with a blood-rush of anger directed only at himself.

Brandon League looked decent recording a strikeout, but he allowed a couple runners on base after a hussling Aaron Hill just missed picking up a couple hard grounders.  Hill could be shaking off some mental rust, but that’s okay right now.  It was awesome to see him back on the field and in the lineup.  With two men on base and a 4-run lead at stake, Scott Downs came on to nibble at the Tigers’ chromosomes.

After a couple of idiots found their way into Blue Jays’ jail, our guys tacked on three more runs to their lead and wrapped things up in a quiet 9th.  A couple of things of note:

• Brian Tallet spent the offseason watching Boogie Nights and growin’ a stache.
• Magglio Ordonez has to do something about that ridiculous mop on his head.
• Cliff Lee pitched like the real Cliff Lee Today and got spanked by the Texas Rangers.  He should return last year’s Cy Young to its rightful owner.