Land of the Leaf

Life After Leaf Fans

Leaf fans are a tough find during the playoff months, save for the odd goofball sporting a Sundin Leafs’ jersey in a Toronto pub while reluctantly cheering on the Vancouver Canucks (editor’s note: a Wellwood jersey would be more adequate to explain fans’ desperation in Toronto by showing that they once adored the fat nerd).  Now, imagine a world without Leaf fans year round, season after season.  Down Goes Brown dreams up a utopia… er, dystopia where Maple Leaf fans do not exist.

Stephen Curry… Toronto Raptor?

That’s the case over at Cuzoogle, at least according to the Hoop Doctors Mock Draft.  I for one don’t see Curry becoming an NBA superstar, or even a pseudo star like Shane Battier, but the Raptors will need a 2-guard with a sweet stroke because of the impending departure of Anthony Parker.  I’ve said it before, drafting a shooting-guard would be a good move.  Nothing is certain until the balls drain out… of the lottery machine.

Stephen A. Smith continues to be Stephen A. Smith

Stephen A. Smith was handed a microphone, and he said a lot of stupid shit with it.  Thankfully, ESPN eventually realized that and canned his outspoken, dim-witted ass.  Unfortunately, it hasn’t stopped Stephen A. from flapping his gums.  [Dead Spin]

Mike Tyson Still Fuckin’ Crazy

The first time I saw the leaked excerpts of Mike Tyson’s self-produced documentary, I’ll admit: I nearly came to tears from the sheer honesty on all aspects of his career, in the ring and outside of it.  If you’re a film critic, and not impressed by the documentary, then you best watch your back.  Tyson will “copulate, sexually, with your eye and nose holes”.  That’s not even the worst of it.  [Holy Taco]

Stealing Home Off Andy Pettite Is So 2007

Before Jacoby Ellsbury went and made stealing home on Pettite mainstream, Aaron Hill was pulling that shit “underground” in 2007.  Knuckle-bumps to The Blue Jay Hunter.

Big thanks to Land of the Leaf reader and friend Nick Bland for the doozy shot of the Turducken… the only thing better is a deep-fried turkey.

• The Raptors actually win one, and rather handily!  I’m not alone in thinking that the Raptors need a Charles Oakley-type to kick their asses on the bench and in the locker room.  Pops Mensah-Bonsu might not have Oak’s candour, but he brings it on the floor, whatever it is.  Eyebleaf loves him, and so should you.  (Sports and the City)

• Rogers Sportsnet still calls those crummy posts on their website “blogs”, and apparently Sean McCormick’s latest spiel on Ron Wilson is causing a stir in the MLSE offices.  How is it that Ron Wilson is actually out big-mouthing Mr. Big-Mouth Brian Burke?  Impressive, most impressive.  (Toronto Sports Media)

• I’m not going to get into the hockey fight debate here, I love a good scrap and I think there are other more pressing issues that NHL general managers should address, like failed expansion to the sunbelt.  Down Goes Brown offered the best explanation of why the new rule won’t work, then he went ahead and posted the top 10 “staged” hockey fights.  (Down Goes Brown)

• The Blue Jays’ rotation is starting to take shape, thank sweet Jesus that Mike Maroth has fallen out of contention.  Matt Clement might not be far behind him either, but he’s not necessarily out of options.  (Major League Bastian)

• It may actually be the cheesiest song you’ve ever heard, but admit it: you’ve been brought to tears by it at least once.  It’s the Classic One Shining Moment videos.  (Cuzoogle)

• I’m not even going to offer an explanation as to why I’ll link to this as you can see for yourself, no explanation is needed.  A naked man climbs a 50-foot cross and takes a dump on it in a protest against Christianity.  (Afrojacks)

Marion throws down dunk